I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I want to hold in the space of my blog.  There are a lot of people with a lot of opinions about what a blog should be, how it should be written, and how I should show up here.  It’s taken me over a year to realize that none of what “they” say really means anything to me.  If I want my blog to be a bunch of lists with no SEO, I can do that.  I’ve spent far too long letting my blog sit here because I was worried about what other people think.

I just turned 37 and have decided that for my birthday, among other things, I’m going to just let myself and my space be exactly who and what I think it should be…and fuck what “they” think.

So, in the spirit of that, here are 10 things about me

1. I cuss a lot.  Curse words are my favorite and it annoys me to my core that there are “bad” and “good” words.  I feel like cuss words are just a nice little punctuation to my sentences.
2. One of my favorite activities is getting to know myself.  I spent a really long time in my life living life on other people’s terms.  I built this bulletproof version of me with all kinds of walls around my heart.  I guess maybe to protect everyone from this terrible person I thought I was.  As I’ve broken down my own walls, I’ve realized that I’m really fucking cool.  I actually love who I am.  And for those of you with the side-eye, I so fucking see you because I was exactly there not so long ago.
3. I love learning new things.  I have come to know this piece of me as my little student.  She loves to learn and she also loves to be “right.”  It’s wild, as I start to learn new things, both parts of her show up.  It’s also pretty cool because as I learn new things, I learn more about who I am and my process.  How you do one thing is how you do everything, as the saying goes.
4. I am learning how to be a good friend.  I’ve told myself this story ever since I was a little kid that I was a bad friend.  I’ve ruined lots of really good friendships that way and probably hurt a lot of people I really cared about with that story.  Recently, I’ve been given the opportunity to show up for and fully receive friendships.  In that process, I’ve also learned that I am quick to judge other women.  I feel it’s a defense mechanism from my past story.  Learning how to see through my ego and into the hearts of these women has been a really great gift.
5. I have just started seeing myself for my authentic me.  When I first started coaching, everyone always said to show up as my authentic self.  I had zero ideas what that meant and I’ve been feeling into it.  I feel now what it’s like to post as my authentic self versus posting just to post.  The energy behind both feels different.  I am seeing how that authenticity has always been in some places and how it’s seeping into others.
6. I love to love.  I’ve learned recently that if I’m not loving, there’s a part of me that’s judging.  I used to judge and judge and judge…and I still do because holy shit, judgment is a hard one to get rid of.  And I’ve found that when I show up loving myself first, there are a lot fewer parts of me judging whatever else is happening.
7. I put myself first however I can.  I always order my meals before my kid’s.  I fold put away my laundry first.  I cook whatever I want for dinner.  I’ve learned that when I’m not putting myself first, shit gets nasty quickly.  And maybe that is selfish but I want to teach my kids, and especially my daughter, that you should always put your needs first.  You can’t fill from an empty cup and you shouldn’t want to.
8. I want to change the world.  My mission in life is to get as many women as possible to understand how absolutely powerful they are.  I want them to know that their life and their purpose are so absolutely divine.  I want them to see themselves for the total badasses they are and to live their life on their terms.
9. I am a chicken.  I get so scared to put myself out there and then when I do and I get positive feedback, I run!  It’s something I will probably work on my entire life…starting with this blog post.  That part of me that’s scared to be seen for the good is a piece that I’m beginning to understand well…and she’s very deeply ingrained in me.
10. I teach through my life experience.  I promise you that you won’t find anything I’ve posted about that I haven’t lived through.  I do my own research and have my own lived experiences and that’s what I use as my lessons.  For better or worse, you see the real me.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Love,

Sarah