I have been on what some would call a healing journey for about 3 years (and honestly, probably most of my life but that’s a story for another time). It all started with a desire to connect with a higher power that I knew was out there. I’d grown up Catholic and in my 20s, I started to buy less into this idea of what the Catholic God is all about. I started to search for something more compassionate.
As I dug into spirituality, Law of Attraction, manifesting, self-help, I found a craving for more. These principles of learning how to love yourself to create and attract a life you want to live had me on the edge of my seat. And they still do, to this day.
I went from a woman who numbed her pain with alcohol at every turn to someone who can completely embody that pain. I learned how to not only live through things that at one point might have killed me but to thrive within them. Pain and uncomfortableness became some of my greatest teachers.
From that journey, I have learned 9 concepts to adopt if you find yourself on your own path to living your best life.
1. Stay a student forever
I am a reader so I started finding every book I could on self-help. I probably have 100 books for the pure purpose of developing myself, my relationship with my Spirit, learning how to form habits, etc. Books on books…and some of them I haven’t even read.
Just having them there, at my fingertips, any time I need a pick me up or have the desire to dive into myself makes me feel like I’ve got a long-lost friend sitting on my shelf.
If you aren’t into books, there are millions of podcasts, YouTube videos, and blog posts that will help you get into the same stuff. Take notes, keep a journal, ask yourself questions to really dig into the things you are learning. You’ll uncover more than you’d ever want to know about yourself.
2. Get curious about your feelings and emotions
Curiosity is probably the best emotion to embody when you are creating the best version of yourself. It leaves a lot of room for an open mind and a willingness to keep going if and when things get uncomfortable. Emotions and feelings are all only temporary…the good and the bad.
When you can feel it and let it go, instead of holding onto it for dear life, you clear room for so much more to come in. There is extensive research on the way our moods affect our cells. Remember, your body is always listening to you and reacting to how you think and feel.
3. It’s okay to have days where you feel less than
With all that being said, it is totally normal to have days that suck. Try to remember that it’s just a learning opportunity. And it’s only temporary, at that.
When you find yourself in a rut, don’t take it personally. There can definitely be the tendency to berate yourself for co-creating your bad days. Take a deep breath, remember that at your core, you are full of light and love, and then go take a nap!
4. Self-compassion is the best gift you can give yourself
When working through whatever is blocking you on your way to creating your best self, take it easy on you. Give yourself all the grace and compassion that you can. Undertaking this kind of work is not something everyone does.
There will be good days and bad days. Keeping an attitude of total self-acceptance when you can will get you a lot further. Remember, you are a manifestation of love and your ancestors and guides are so proud of you.
5. Learn to talk to yourself like you would a child
Seriously though, how would you talk to a 2-year-old who hurt themselves? You wouldn’t tell them to suck it up and get over it. You’d wrap them up, get them a snack, and snuggle on the couch while telling them how sorry you were they got hurt and how brave they are, right?
Right. Learn to have that kind of dialogue going on in your head. It’s twofold. 1 – You learn how to be your own best friend. 2 – Your head becomes a much safer, healthier, and better place to exist.
6. Let your relationship with yourself be the most important one you have
As you strive to become your very best self, a lot of things will compete for your attention. It mostly has to do with the limiting beliefs we place on ourselves about our relationships with ourselves. That’s okay and normal.
Work to keep your relationship with you your most special and honored relationship. Put yourself first. Ask yourself what you need on a moment-to-moment basis. Say no. Take breaks. Celebrate yourself for every failure and win, equally. They are all learning opportunities.
7. Keep the commitments you make to yourself
In putting yourself first, you might have to trade short-term happiness for long-term success. You are worth your commitments. You are worth your boundaries. By committing to yourself, and keeping those commitments, you are setting the expectation that you are your number one priority…just as you deserve to be.
8. Learn to see failure as an opportunity
If we’re lucky, we’ll all feel like failures at some point in our lives. It happens…believe me, I’m intimately acquainted with failure. And a lot of the time, I do spend a day or two could-ing and should-ing myself up one side and down the other. It can take a minute but then I usually realize that I’m here to learn.
Learning is a privilege and if everything was handed to me exactly how I’d expect it to be, I’d never be able to have that privilege. It can be hard and that’s okay but failure will never be the end of our journey.
9. Let life be fun
As Abraham-Hicks says, “you can’t get it wrong and you’ll never get it done.” So you might as well enjoy the process of your everyday life. Look for the joy and laughter in each moment. These are gifts for us.
Looking at life as a gift rather than as a struggle. Fun instead of obligations. Laughter instead of rage. It’s all here for us and as you learn to shift your perspective for that attitude, things get a whole lot lighter.