Remember in my last blog post how I told you I kept pulling the same card from the Gabby Bernstein deck about fear?  It was like once I figured out that I didn’t have to meet my fear with fear, the universe was ready to send me a new message.

And send me a new message it did.  Here’s the card I’ve pulled the past two days in a row:

Manifesting has always been this scary word for me because it’s something that can be done “right” or “wrong.”  Like if I’m not seeing a million dollars in my bank account, I’m definitely manifesting wrong.

I’m inspired to take a deeper look at what this card is trying to tell me, especially since I pulled the exact same card two days in a row.  I feel like either I’m not very good at shuffling or the message here is trying to come in loud and clear.

The first parts of this that stick out to me are the words manifesting, creative, aligning, and co-creating.  All words that have intimidated me as I’ve been on this spiritual path.  I continually learn how in order to get what I want, I have to be in alignment with it.  I understand that the world is vibrational and trying too hard to be in alignment still scares me.  Again, because I feel like it’s something that can be done “right.”

Co-creating is a word that had me feeling all sorts of ways when I first started learning about spirituality.  It had to do with my feelings of worth.  I remember being so honored to feel like I was working with the energy that creates worlds to make my life happen. 

Creative.  Oh, good old creativity.  I have a long-standing story about how I am not creative that I am proud to say I’ve blown out of the water bit by bit.  I’ve created two humans, a beautiful home, a couple of horrendous paintings, numerous poems, and countless journals.  

I really like how this card is telling me that manifesting is a creative process.  I can create anything I want, right?  And even if my creation only lives in my mind, that makes it real somewhere, doesn’t it?   So when I create anything I want in my mind and I am having fun in the creating of that, I’m aligning my energy with the universe…juicy.

And now I’m thinking about that last bit…co-create an experience that elevates my spirit and the spirit of the world.

Can I tell you a secret?  I’ll do anything to elevate my spirit.  I’m like a lifting-my-spirit-junkie.  I’ve even recently given up lots of caffeine because it pulls me into my head and I can’t align with my spirit as easily.

So now I realize what I think the card is trying to tell me…Can I give up my fears of manifesting, aligning, creating, and co-creating the “wrong” way in order to elevate my spirit?  And not only my spirit but the spirit of the world.

Can I give up the right or wrong judgment on things like manifestation and alignment that will elevate my spirit?  Even if I do them “wrong” am I still elevating?  Who is the judge of a manifestation, alignment, or creation?

I’m inspired to tell this story.  One of my friends posted on social media at the beginning of the summer about manifesting.  In the caption, she asked us what we’d like to manifest before the end of the summer.  I casually said I wanted to go on a boat ride.

At the time, we didn’t have a boat or any friends with boats but there is something about being on a boat that brings my soul to life.  I didn’t really think about it at all after I said that.

Then a week or so after Labor Day, my husband asked me if I wanted to go look at a boat to buy.  We left the kids with the babysitter and made the hour-long drive across Phoenix to go check out this boat. 

The drive to the lake was breathtaking.  There were hundreds of big, beautiful saguaro cactuses everywhere.  Thousands of yellow caterpillars were doing some type of migration and even though there were lots squished on the ground, the ones crawling across looked so cute and fuzzy.

We met the couple on the boat dock to check out their boat and they asked us if we wanted to go for a ride.  The weather was perfect and the company was awesome.  About 30 minutes into the ride, I remembered that I’d said I wanted to go on a boat ride before the end of the summer.

Goosebumps covered my arms as I realized how the stars had aligned for that moment.  The universe had given me something even better than I could have expected.

A casual ask can turn into a day that you’ll never forget.

I judge my manifestations all the time by how much money I have in the bank.  I’m realizing, right now, that the manifestations aren’t in the things.  They are in the experiences.  How does the manifestation feel to me is the question I could be asking myself.

Even if it’s not the exact thing I’ve asked for, the universe is always sending me something close to it.  That’s a validation in itself.

This card has made me realize that it’s time for me to put down my gavel.  I am not a judge, nor do I want to be.

I welcome whatever I manifest, align with, or create next with a sense of peace and security.  Knowing that I’m fully supported by the universe in getting what I want.