Tiptoeing to my infertility success story

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I did it!  I’ve made the transition to fertility coaching.  From a math-minded project manager to a fertility coach (with an infertility success story, no less)!  How in the heck did that happen, you ask? Well…it all started with a desire for more.  I wanted to become a mom, you see. And the path that has erupted and become my life from that desire is crazier than what I’d ever imagined.  

My husband and I started trying to get pregnant in 2015 after we’d been married the perfect amount of time.  We tried. And tried. And tried some more. I tracked cycles, I did body temping, I switched up my diet, I exercised, I “just relaxed” and I tried all the well-meaning advice my family and friends gave me.  And still…crickets.

I decided that changing to a less stressful job was how I got my infertility success story!  Then, I’d take a new job…and HATE said job. This became a pattern in my life over the next couple of years.  I’d find something new and still be unhappy and frustrated…and still not pregnant. I started to think that maybe the job wasn’t the problem…maybe it was…ME.  GASP!  

I’d always wanted a corporate career and when I found my first job in IT, I thought I’d found my life’s work.  But then the corporate IT world just wasn’t lighting me up anymore. I wasn’t feeling a connection with my coworkers.  I wasn’t getting to serve others. Both things my heart wanted. For a while, I thought it was where I was working but then it became apparent that it was what I was doing.

I ultimately surrendered my hunt for the perfect job to the universe.  I decided to sit back and see what happened…you know, have some patience.  Then I just took the steps I felt guided to take. I only took steps that felt good to me.  I wasn’t controlling the hunt, I wasn’t grasping so hard at the next thing. And finally, fertility coaching basically ended up landing in my lap.

My hunt to find the perfect job pretty much mirrors my journey to become a mom.  I did “all the right things” to find the perfect job. Just like I did “all the right things” to get my infertility success story.  I did every perfect thing for the perfect amount of time before moving on to the next perfect thing. It wasn’t until I surrendered the outcome that the things I wanted came to me.

Taking steps outside of your perfect can be really freaking hard.  Especially for people on a fertility journey. Your journey looks nothing like you thought it would.  You don’t know how to make it better, except to just do the next thing. In the moment, those things do not feel perfect.  They feel messy and hard and exhausting. But how could what you are going through to create your family amount to anything less than a success story?

infertility success story

So there it is – I’m a woman who’s walked this fertility journey and has learned to let go of what I thought my perfect life would look like. I’ve opened. I’ve softened. And learned that the journey happens one small step at a time toward a known or unknown destination. The trick is to keep going, taking those steps, the small ones, in a direction that FEELS right.